kuilo Countdown to 200 - #2: Brainstorming and Bus Etiquette - hotamboyan

We are two posts away from #200 (boy, have we built this up) and I think it's time on our Ten Post Look Back to where it all began: post Number One. There are actually quite a few highlights from this one: 

We learn that I say roadie and not tech.

I am the Shop Foreman – not one of the greatest lines I’ve written, but they can’t all be gold.

I mention a Top Ten list. Do I have a problem?

Great Aunt Ida in Boise is born.

‘In no particular order’ begins.

I remember calling Adam and Terese asking for the bus pictures. It sounded something like this on my end, “I don’t know. Just a few pics of the bus, but stuff I can put online. Yeah, a blog. Just wing it, send me a few pics, I’m sure they’ll be great.”

Brainstorming and Bus Etiquette 

“Write a blog,” they say. “A blog for Bandit Lites about lighting and such.”

Sure, I can do that. No problem. After all, I am the Shop Foreman.

Except one problem: Where do you start? Do I start with something about lighting gear? Maybe a topic on the industry as a whole? What about a funny story or anecdote any roadie (yes, roadie. Get used to it. That will be my preferred general term) would get a chuckle over?

Or how about a classic “Top Ten” list?

What style should I write? Dare I go super lighting nerd and talk about the beam spread of a 2K Wash at 35 feet, or maybe something a little more easy to grasp like the difference between a wash and a spot? Do I want the 20 year road veteran to read this or focus on the younger generation? What about people that want to learn more about the industry or Great Aunt Ida in Boise who wants to know what her nephew does on them crazy bus thingies?

The answer, of course, is yes to all of the above; however, none of that actually answered where to start. It seems as though we are back to square one. I got it! Let’s start with something nice and easy. For those advanced in years, you will know all this but it will be a fun walk down memory lane to a simpler time. For those of you that are new or looking to get on tour, it’s time to get your learn on. Without further ado I bring you…

BUS ETIQUETTE YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU START ON THE ROAD

(In no particular order)

Your home away from home.

When on the bus, sleep with your feet towards the driver. 

If it all goes to hell, it is better to break your legs then your neck. As a side note, I was always partial to a bottom bunk. Most people prefer middle bunks because you don’t have to jump in them or roll on the floor to get in it. All that is moot: if you are a new guy to a tour you will get a top bunk anyway.

Your bus driver is not your mom. 

Pick up after yourself. Don’t leave empty soda cans or paper plates around. The bus isn’t that big, so walk to the trash and throw it out.

No solid waste or paper product of ANY kind in the toilet. 

This makes it much easier for the driver to dump and clean the tank. On most tours, there will be a fine if you break this rule. Stay tuned for Advanced Roadie-ing: “Bagging it”

Do not fall asleep ANYWHERE but your bunk. 

If you do, you are fair game for all types of hi-jinks and shenanigans. Old road vets are quite creative with sharpies and a camera. No one will feel sorry for whatever is done to you. You have been warned.

Unless your name is on it, it is fair game. 

If you bring food or drink on a bus, put your name on it. Otherwise, people will think it is just bus stock, and bus stock never lasts.

Bunk space is private. 

Do not go into someone’s bunk without permission. Men have been killed for lesser things. Speaking of bunks, be quiet in the bunk area. Always. Quiet.

Teresa demonstrates the best kept practice of leaving bunks ALONE.

Lock the doors and bays! 

Look people, this is simple: it’s just buttons now. Not even a key! Lock the doors whenever you leave the bus. It’s always interesting when a random person decides to open the door and stroll on the bus to “see what it’s like.” On top of that, everybody’s stuff is in there. You wouldn't leave your house unlocked, would you? As a side note, lock the door when you are in the bus for the same reasons.

It isn't just your "house." 

We all bring family and friends to the show. Most tours are very cool with guests on the bus, but as a courtesy, check with everyone on the bus before you bring the guests on.

Bus water ain’t for drinkin’ son. 

The buses get filled with water at truck stops and it sits in a tank. There is always bottled water. Use that for coffee, tea, brushing your teeth, etc.

Pics courtesy of Adam McIntosh. 

It’s cold in the bus for a reason. 

Keeping the bus cold helps to keep germs at bay. A bus full of sick roadies is no fun. If you are new it is really for the best to just not touch the thermostats at all. Hell, I was on the road for 12 years and didn't mess with them.

There you have it, a few simple rules to live by. I hope you enjoyed this first installment of Dimmer Beach. If you feel I missed any bus rules, please feel free to comment so we can all spread the gospel of roadie-ing.

Until next time…

No matter how bad you want to, don’t lick your finger and stick it in a live cam-lok.

-Mark 

And until next time, “I’d rather go by bus.” Prince Charles

Mark