kuilo Countdown to 200 - #10: So You Want to Be a Roadie? - hotamboyan

As I mentioned in the post last week, we begin the march toward post number 200. Before we get there I would like to look back at some of the highlights up to this point. While this isn’t a true Top 10 list the upcoming weeks will be ten favorites of myself and those here at Bandit and beyond that help make the blog possible.

We start with a popular favorite: So You Want to be a Roadie?

This was one of the longer posts but also one of the most fun to read. We had seven pictures in the post of which three hold a special place dear to me (which three do you think?). Somehow the “In no particular order” had already become a thing (not sure how since I had only written three other posts), there was a story in there that I have talked about at least a couple times since. My end of post quote was not yet defined as it has become. And we learned early on of my fascination with English writers.

Without further ado …So You Want to Be A Roadie? 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...*

Today we’re looking into the dichotomy that is being a roadie; more specifically, in lighting (this is a Bandit Lites blog after all). After spending twelve years on the road and telling people what you do for a living, you tend to hear the same questions about it. Many jobs have pros and cons, and being a roadie does as well. The difference is that for most pros there is a con to go with it. (Or is it for most cons there is a pro to go with it? Is the glass have full or half empty? Deep stuff.)

Sometimes you get to look at things like this!

Most days you look at things like this.

I loved my time on the road, even the really crappy days (which there were many). Plenty of people think a job like mine is just the best thing ever. I wouldn't have traded it. I have had too many fun days and nights to count. Hanging out, cranking up some music, having a few drinks and laughing with the other crew going to a day off. And the bus parties!
I loved not having in any way, shape, or form, anything that resembles a 9-to-5 job. I’m sure this is understood, but a suit and tie are unnecessary, and green hair is more acceptable on a tour than in an accounting office (but you will still get made fun of). I always have a job people want to talk about, and who doesn't like to get free food in catering and on the bus, and some free swag (on most tours).
Do you want to go on the road? Can you handle being on the road 200+ days a year? Is this job for you? Can we just get to the point already? Okay, here we go… (In no particular order of course.)

Welcome to the reality that is being on the road.

“You get to travel on that bus? That must be so cool!” Yes, the buses are very nice. Yes, newer ones far surpass the ones of yore. Buses today have satellite TV, Wi-Fi, microwaves, fridges, bathrooms (some with showers) and televisions in your bunks with DVD players. Most tours keep the bus stocked with various food and beverages of choice (Mt. Dew, beer, Oreos, and Lucky Charms being some staples).

“Wow! That is great. That must be the best.”

All that being said the bus is still a bus. It consists of two lounges with a bunk area that holds 12 people. You get up in the morning, see these 12 people. Work all day with these 12 people. Finish load-out, and go to bed seeing these 12 people.

On days such as this, it's best to get along with your crew.

Getting the picture here?

Whether you like them or not, you have to live with them. That is a lot of people in a small area. If you enjoy privacy, you better really like your bunk, which is just over 6’ long (tall guys need not stretch out) and when you turn on your side, your shoulder almost hits the top of it. Bathroom stops are also a joy to plan. Many a morning is spent wondering if you will make it to the venue in time.

“I wish I could travel all over.” Yes, we get to travel; some of us just in the US and Canada, some all over the world. I've been to some really cool places, including a couple trips to the UK, a jaunt down to the Atlantis resort, and a free trip to the Virgin Islands. I was lucky enough to find a truck driver on one tour that played disc golf, and we would play on days off. So I played all over the country. Some people spend days off going and getting lost in a city, but for the most part, the “traveling” looks like this:

Get off the bus. You may be looking at the back of the arena, or even better, you’re underground in the arena.

Load-in all day.

Do a show.

Load-out.

Get back on the bus.

Go to next city.

Do it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Then have a day off, where you wake up and get to enjoy a bit of scenery sitting in the jump seat, or wake up at the hotel where you pray you’re near the front of the line for laundry (after 4 or 5 days everyone is looking to do theirs). A run to the mall, out to eat, and back to the hotel to relax.

Airports. Don’t even get me started on airports. After flying twice a week for almost two years, I am happier to drive 740 miles back home to Buffalo then spend a day flying to get there. ‘Nuff said.

How nice is [Insert Artist's Name Here] to work with? Some roadies work closely with band members, but most lighting crew members do not. Usually any work-related contact between artist and lighting crew is via the LD. That is not to say we don’t talk to band members or artists, it’s just that they have a job to do and we have a job to do. Some acts are very friendly with their crew… and others are not. With smaller acts, crew and band are on a bus together and that leads to a closer relationship. It is more common for the lighting guys to stay in the background rather than buddy up with the band. As a rule, it is easier to replace a dimmer tech than a guitar player.

I know some tours where crew and band play golf on days off and others where you never see the band until they walk on stage. Remember, you are there to work, not be buddy-buddy with the bass player. I was always happier if the artist knew I was on the tour, but didn't know much beyond that.

Can I get that set list? Can I get that set list? I understand you want something to remember the show. I know you think it must be so cool to be on stage during set change, but it is a job. It’s work. It can be very hard work. We don’t go to the doctor’s office and scream for the pen he just used. Do we?

Also, you have to stay pretty courteous when dealing with fans who wants stuff, too. You can brush people off or ignore them but you shouldn't be mean to them. You’re a reflection of the tour. You don’t want someone saying, “Those crew guys were jerks, [Insert Artist's Name Here] must be a jerk, too.”

“So what you are saying is you deal with a few crazy fans and you get all those cool perks? Sign me up!”

Wait! There’s more.

Lighting crew are generally the first in and last out. Show load-ins are generally between 8 A.M. and 9 A.M., while load-out ends between midnight and 2 A.M. Meanwhile, you are on standby all day long. And those times don’t include waking up, getting ready, eating breakfast, showering after load-out, relaxing 30 minutes after the day is done, etc.

Now, do 3 to 5 (or more) of those in a row. Throw in the variables of docks or no docks, good stagehands (“Which way do the arrows point?”) or less experienced stagehands (“What’s a shackle?”), loading-in four hours late because of a 600-mile drive overnight (“But I did get to see some of that scenery!”), and THEN there is no Mt. Dew in catering?! (“Grumble, grumble grumble”).

After a nice six-week stint of that, do you know what you get to come home to? A phone call saying you need to come in and help prep the next show. You still in? There is a reason this job isn't for everyone.

Still want in? The answer for me was “Hell yes!” Everything that made gigging hard (I didn't even get into the wear and tear on your body, truck stops, bad catering, etc.) was worth it for the good times:

The relationships you made with people.

.

The first time you call house lights to start a show for 20,000 plus people, and you hear the roar of the crowd.

That one time you met your sports hero from growing up. (I did and it didn't suck.)

That one cue you never forget.

The days your dimmer beach just looked so damn pretty.

Totally worth it.

I will end with a favorite story of mine that always put me back in my place. I was on a country tour and we were doing the usual summer fair and festival run. The days were long, hot, and dirty: port-a-potties abound, catering was non-existent and everyone was miserable. Our artist called us (band and crew) all on the bus and then proceeded to ream us. What he said still sticks with me:

“People that come to these fairs save up all year and take vacation for this. This is what they work all year for: to do this. Come to the fair, see these shows. They may not have any idea what it takes to do what we do, but they would probably give just about anything to do it. So stop whining, go out there, do your job and do it the best you can. They deserve it.”

Until next time-

Heaven is a new pair of socks.

Mark

*Ripped off of Charles Dickens

[Until next time, “Top Ten lists make me insane. I know they’re going to change daily.”
Bill Hader

Mark]